1. Online poker being an 18+ pastime, expect sick, twisted black humor ahead and political correctness to leave the room. Hat tip to the 1000+ post BBV thread Best Poker Screen Names on the TwoPlusTwo forums for sourcing many of these - plus the regular grinders who spotted these nicks and avatars at the tables.
2. If you’ve ever watched the World Poker Tour, you’ll know at least a handful of nicknames for poker hands. The most common ones of course are “pocket rockets” or “bullets” for pocket aces, and “snowmen” for pocket 8s. It seems if there is a hand, Vince Van Patten has a nickname for it.

If you get a kick out of poker nicknames, this article is for you. If you enjoy the whimsy, transience, and candor of our peer-given monikers, then read on.

If, on the other hand, you find names such as Uncle Stinker and Vinnie Beans to be neither amusing nor intriguing, then you might as well keep on clicking, because right now you’re in a name-lover’s playground.

How do I know I’m not the only nickname fan?

What happened was, I was writing a poker story, and I needed a couple good nicknames. Typically I look forward to that kind of work. An opportunity to fill in a couple blanks with something fun.

Texas hold 'em pocket card nicknames The following is a list of nicknames for pairs of two playing cards, usually hole cards, used in poker derivatives such as Texas hold 'em and Omaha hold 'em poker. These nicknames are usually used by the player when announcing their hand or by spectators or commentators who are watching the game.

Then it hit me. My current plan is to write novels, and these novels will no doubt have poker players in there. I will be filling in nickname blanks for years.

So I decided to tap into a writing resource even greater than Google — my newsletter readers. Sure, I can get facts and instruction from the internet. But not reams of fresh, free, funny grist for my writing mill. I asked my faithful to send me their favorite poker nicknames, and what I got back took two full days to process, laughing the whole time.

The Tigress / Dead Money / F-bomb / Mumbles

Most of the names I received are actual nicknames of actual people. And some contributors rattled off a slew of people in their home game or from their casino. So don’t be too shocked if you see your nickname in the word cloud.

Mudslide / Ace Hole / Trapper John / The Counselor

When I asked for names, I wasn’t planning an article. I was just going to stash them in a file and access as needed until my inkwell went dry. But when I read through the 250 names — many with explanations and backstories ranging from a few words to a few paragraphs — I had urges. Urges to share. This is too good to hog.

Billington Fold Factory / Mike the Hat / Hurricane Chan

My collection does not include internet screen names, though I did receive some hilarious observations about what happens when screen names get real.

A READER WROTE: “At my first live poker events, I always found it entertaining to exchange screen names with people. Nothing like a person having to tell you his name is ‘StickItInYourAce69’ or whatever. Also funny is when people with those names win WCOOP events and PokerStars has to promote them.

Nicknames by Category

I spotted six. For example, several people have been named after their card protectors, and The Bobs earned a category by force of numbers, with Drywall Bob, Bald Bob, Silent Bob, Pancake Bob, Sideshow Bob, and DCMB, also known as Don’t Call Me Bob, and I’m not making this up.

Four more categories:

Opposites

• Tiny (described as “not tiny”)
• Genius (described as “pretty much wrong about everything”)
• Sat Nav (bad with directions)
• Sunshine

A READER WROTE: “My best friend started calling me ‘Sunshine’ because he said I’d get to the game and everyone was having fun and cracking jokes and I’d suck the sunshine out of the room, by being so miserable. Eventually that nickname disappeared and I asked him why. He said he couldn’t call me Sunshine anymore because I had my shit together now and I was too happy.”

Weapons

• Shiv
• Stiletto
• Tank
• Hammer
• Sniper
• Alex Two Guns (likes to bet with both hands full of chips)

Animals

• King Salmon
• California Condor
• Rutting Rhino
• Squirrel (has the nuts)
• Catfish (bottom feeder)
• Weasel (obvious)

Duos

• Flip-Flop and Piles (described as “a famous poker duo”)
• Rock and Roll (twin brothers, one is a nit and the other has deep pockets)
• Big and Little (as in, blinds) — a married couple who always sit next to each other, with him (“Big”) on the left and her (“Little”) on the right

A Writing Game

Some names have guessable origins, like Parking Lot Larry who slept in his car, and Hundred Dollar Mike who never bought in for more, and Too Tan who was, duh, too tanned.

But sometimes the obvious names are anything but. Einstein, for example. Why would a poker player be given that name? For being smart? Or not smart? Guess again…

A READER WROTE: “A number of years ago, my brother worked for a tech company called EMC. He gave me a hat with their logo on it, which is the letters EMC and a superscript 2. When I wore that hat at the poker table, my opponents called me ‘Einstein.’ Hah!”

Here’s a writing game I’ve been playing. There’s no typing. Just thinking. I look at one of the more colorful names, and I start asking questions: Who is this person? And how did they earn this name?

Really it’s just a natural compulsion brought on by the names themselves. Like the nickname Rug Doctor. See? Already your mind is concocting stories! Here are a few more good names for this game — Charlie Tuna, Rain Man, Dahmer.

To Be Named a Player

It’s a great feeling to be nicknamed. It says, “I am here, and I can prove it. Somebody cared enough about me to make up a name, just for me. I admit I would have been happier with something more flattering than ‘Unlimited Calling Plan,’ but hey, at least my existence has been validated.”

I’ve had my share of nicknames over the years, a function of playing a lot and talking a lot. One time I asked the waitress to bring me a glass of milk, and that generated some mocking banter. Then I flopped a monster and slow played it, as in, milked it, and for the rest of the night a couple guys called me Milk.

But ever since I disengaged at the table and started playing mum poker, I’ve become the nameless type. Which made this quote my favorite of the batch:

A READER WROTE: “I never got a nickname because someone taught me about mum poker so I stayed quiet and made no friends.”

I propose a toast. Okay, several toasts. First, to those who gave me my list. And then, to all of us. The named, and the nameless. And let us also raise our glasses to the name makers. The givers of truth, beauty, and names like Mike the Hat. Really? What the heck kind of name is that? But I love it! Okay, where were we…?

To the writer that lives in all of us.

::: clink :::

Signed,

Angles

To join Tommy’s mailing list and receive updates on his upcoming third book, Painless Poker, plus random musings and advice, click here immediately.

Best Poker Nicknames

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When it comes to nicknames, everybody hopes that they’ll get one that sounds cool, or dangerous, or – at the very least – one that's not offensive, negative, or just plain crap! Because nicknames stick with you, and become part of your life whether you like them or not!

Just ask basketball legend Earvin ‘Magic’ Johnson (as cool a name as any) or heavyweight boxer Audley ‘Fraudley’ Harrison (hardly how a fighter wants to be seen) or soccer player Nicolas ‘The Incredible Sulk’ Anelka (yet another reason for the Frenchman to be unhappy!).

When it comes to poker nicknames, there are very few players who don’t sport at least one. It kind of goes with the territory, harking back to the days when smoky back-rooms and small-time hoods were part and parcel of the game.

Jimmy ‘The Greek’ is a name just as likely to be found in a gangster movie as it is in a poker tournament, and it has an ‘edgy’ ring to it – much more so than James George Snyder Senior as he was known formally (not to mention his original Greek name of Dimetrios Georgios Synodinos!).

Where are you from?

There are plenty of poker pros who have nicknames taken from their country of birth, and generally it’s a safe bet with few negative connotations, but although ‘The Flying Dutchman’ (Marcel Luske) and ‘The Great Dane’ (Gus Hansen) can be satisfied, Patrick Antonius’ nom de plume of ‘the Finn’ is about as dull as it gets! Johnny Chan gets a good one though – ‘The Orient Express’, although most of the Far East nicknames have a certain attractive mystique to them, such as David ‘The Dragon’ Pham, whose rail are prone to shout ‘You on fire!’ whenever he wins a big hand.

Of course, towns and cities can give names a certain little boost, and even though ‘Grand Rapids Tom’ (Tom McEvoy) isn’t too great, nor is John ‘Miami’ Cernuto, where would we be without ‘Amarillo Slim’ (the poker equivalent of ‘Minnesota Fats') or ‘Texas Dolly’ (Doyle Brunson, whose famous pseudonym was given by Jimmy The Greek nonetheless, who struggled to pronounce the ‘Grandfather of Poker’s’ name back in the day).

Looks can kill

This is always a dubious area for nicknames, unless you’re born from good genetic stock! Still, being named ‘the Bald Eagle’(Steve Zolotow) has a decent ring to it, even though resembling the actual bird itself is a mixed blessing at best.

Jack ‘Treetop’ Straus gained his name from his towering 6’ 6” frame, which had allegedly seen him play college basketball, although no records can be found to confirm this. What we do know, though, is that the famous poker saying ‘a chip and a chair’ probably came about as a result of his 1982 WSOP Main Event win. Down to one chip (a $25 or a $500 chip, depending on whose account you believe) Straus fought his way back to take the title and $520,000.

Poker Hall of Famer Crandell Addington, one of the founding fathers of the WSOP, was always referred to as ‘Dandy’ on account of his impeccable dress-sense: a suit and tie at the table reflecting the millionaire businessman’s sense of propriety.

Another nickname based on looks is Chris ‘Jesus’ Ferguson, although kicking the money-lenders out probably isn’t top of the legendary poker pro’s to-do list! And as the original Jesus likely wasn’t a cowboy, it’s really just the long hair, long face combo which christened him for poker eternity.

Youth has always had a big influence on nicknames, with the most famous from the old-school being Stu ‘The Kid’ Ungar, although 2009 WSOP Main Event champion Joe Cada also sports this name. Unless, however, Cada is Ungar’s kid, then I suggest he change his nickname – there is definitely only one Ungar in the poker world! Daniel ‘Kid Poker’ Negreanu has found a way around this copycat-naming, however.

Actions speak louder than words

Or at least, they reflect them in the poker community. Speaking of actions, Dan ‘Action Dan’ Harrington only deserves his nickname in the ironic sense, his very safe and responsible approach to the game being a source of mirth for those who named him.

‘Mister Cool’, aka Ihsan ‘Sammy’ Farha, fully deserves his title – always dressing well and sitting unperturbed at the table. The unlit cigarette he has perpetually hanging from his lips, however, is now only cool in the retro world of 60’s film stars – but it’s as much a part of him as his ‘cool’ demeanor.

Being known as the ‘Robin Hood of Poker’ must be a great feeling – it’s hard for people to dislike you if, as Barry Greenstein has done for years, you donate your tournament winnings to charity. Although perhaps this Robin has had to tighten his belt as the last 10 years has seen only his net earnings given to good causes. Or perhaps it’s the Sheriff of Nottingham’s taxes to blame for this newer approach?).

Never lose it

Poker Nicknames For Guys Getting

Although nicknames tend to stay with a player throughout their career, some have come from a time before they made it to the green felt.

ElkY, for example, is the well-known moniker for Bertrand Grospelier, but if you have no idea (like me) where this nickname came from, you might be surprised to learn that it’s from his younger days when he was a top WarCraft and StarCraft player. ElkY in fact being the short version of his RPG character ‘Elkantar’. So now you know.

Jennifer Leigh is another to have carried her old nickname over into poker, ‘Jennicide’ being her online alias from the bulletin boards of her youth. 1973 Main Event winner Walter ‘Puggy’ Pearson had a childhood accident to blame for his canine nickname, although Puggy is somewhat better than the ‘Puggy-Wuggy’ some used for him.

Todd Brunson’s ‘DarkHorse’ name, from when he won an early event as an outside be,t has stuck with him all through his career, as has Rafe ‘FurstOut’ Furst’s after his memorable (though he probably hates being reminded of it) early bust out back in the 2003 WSOP Main Event.

What’s in a Name?

Some fortunate poker players have ended up with nicknames which would make most jealous, such as the recently-departed Dave ‘Devilfish’ Ulliott, fellow Englishman Ram ‘CrazyHorse’ Vaswami or Carlos ‘El Matador’ Mortensen - names which convey an aggression and fearless attitude, both very positive poker characteristics.

Somewhat less intimidating are the likes of Allen ‘Clever Piggy’ Cunninham, Greg ‘Fossilman’ Raymer or Bobby ‘The Owl’ Baldwin – they just don’t compare to the likes of Erik ‘Seiborg’ Seidel or Jerry ‘The Shadow’ Yang in the scary-named opponents stakes!

Names which could or should have been…

As mentioned previously, poker players don’t often get to choose their nicknames – Mike ‘The Mouth’ Matusow might be happy with his on occasion, but it’s come back to bite him more often than not, even if it has helped pay his way through sponsorship.

Poker Nickname Generator

If we could re-name players, Matusow would likely become ‘PottyMouth Mike’, Phil ‘The Tiger Woods of Poker’ Ivey might fancy Phil ’EdgeSorter’ Ivey and Howard ‘The Professor’ Lederer would sound just fine as Howard ‘Unforgiven’ Lederer to most fans of the game.

The Unabomber? The Shark? The Monk? Have a guess at who these guys really are - the first at least ought to be simple for any poker buff worth his salt!

Poker Nicknames For Guys

The Magician, The Master and The Mad Genius? Look’em up if you don’t know, and give them alternative nicknames if you can.

My own nickname? Well, Andy ‘winninghorse’ Burnett works for me, but perhaps Andy ‘raisefoldlose’ Burnett is more appropriate!